Business Trip

I knew a kid who was on The Price Is Right.  He won two bicycles, a treadmill, a queen-sized bedroom furniture set, a 42-inch TV and he won his showcase which included:   speedboat, a six-person hot tub and a trip to Turks & Caicos.  He lived in a dorm at the time, so he sold everything except the trip.  He was on his way to the airport with his girlfriend when an oncoming car (driven by a sleepy bookstore clerk) drifted into their lane just in time to kill the kid I knew.  The Price Is Right changed his life. 

I was relieved to finally pull into the long-term parking garage of the San Jose airport.  I found a reasonable spot on the third level.  I was going through my entire trip to figure if I had forgotten to pack anything I would need.  It was far too late to go back for anything, but I continued with the mental activity. 

My mother had drowned in a river two miles from my childhood home six days ago.  My younger sister died in the same river while trying to save my mother.  Their deaths made the front page of the newspaper, along with a picture of my father and older brother, both crying.  I hadn't cried on any of the six days since I heard the news.  I was sad, sure, but not that broken up about it.  I don't know why.  

I lacked the intensity that my brother and father seemed to experience.  The same intensity that my girlfriend apparently found necessary in a mate.  I packed for my trip this morning in a room with two empty dressers drawers and a note explaining my shortcomings as a normal human being.  I was sad she left me, sure, but I wasn't broken up about it.  She said she couldn't bear to be with someone who was "so emotionally dead inside."  I thought her use of the word dead was a tad insensitive, even for someone like me.  My mother and sister were the ones who were dead now.  My father and older brother were the ones who were crying.  I was the one running through a parking garage trying to catch a flight to Cincinnati.

 I saw the reverse lights for just a split second.  In that time, I managed only to consider changing my path to avoid a conflict with the much heavier SUV.  I knew they (the driver of the SUV) couldn't have seen me at all.  Maybe I didn't know they would pull out of the spot so quickly.  Well, they did.  I felt the cold of the pavement on my cheek just before it became dark.  The last thing I thought was that I didn't move out of the way.  I was sad that I didn't move, sure, but I don't know if I was broken up about it.