Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Blink

I fucked with the radio knobs some more.  Good music is hard to find.  It is harder to find in Nowhere, MT.  Grain fields on the other hand... I turned the radio off.  The purr of the car’s motor remained. 
            “Good music is hard to find.” I said.
            “Yes it is,” she offered, “if you’re a music snob.”  She didn’t look at me.  I could see the better half of her left breast in that dress.  She looked inviting.  Her hair on her exposed shoulders.  Her thighs, what I could see of them.  What I couldn’t.
“How much should I spend?” she asked.
“If it’s good shit, get as much as you can.  If it isn’t, don’t.”  Her gaze remained straight ahead.  In the three years we’d been “us,” I had come to know her profile the best.  I could draw her profile perfectly from memory. 
She slowed to a stop and shifted into park.  She looked at me.  I blinked and regretted it.  She was meant to be admired.  I handed her all the cash I had.  She added it to her own modest stack and threw the wad into her purse.
“I’ll be right back,” she said without much thought, “I love you.”  She was out of the car before I could respond.  I watched her walk half a block.  She stepped up to the door and paused for a brief second.  I thought she might turn to the car and smile.  I wanted her to.  She opened the door and was gone.  I settled in and rolled a fat solo to pass the time.  I looked outside the car for witnesses, lit ‘er up and took a hit.  Switched hands.  Took another.
“I smoke two joints in the mornin...” I sang quietly to the smoke swirling inside the car.  We’d be okay, I thought.  We just need this little score to get through the weekend.  We aren’t dumb.  We’ve discussed how much of our lives our habit had claimed.  Not to mention the money.  We’ve agreed to stop after this weekend.  We’ll get our shit together then.  It’ll be like it was. Happy. I looked down to find a roach in my hand.  It could’ve been five minutes or fifty.  I looked up and saw her walking towards the car.  How long had it been?  I sat up straight in my seat.  She got in and started the car.  Her gaze straight ahead.  She pulled a corner bag of crystal from her purse.  She handed it to me.  It was more than I was expecting. 
"How much?" I asked.
"It was a good deal," We were only a few blocks away when she pulled into the gas station.  “I need to use the bathroom.” she explained.
“We’re gonna be okay, right?”
“Yeah.” she said without looking.  She left.  I sat there, roach in one hand and a sack of crystal in the other.  I opened her purse to deposit our cache.  I noticed a wad of bills inside.
           

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Me

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Missoula, MT, United States
I'm 23 and a junior in the Ecology program. I love to folf and play guitar. I like to camp whenever I can get the time off of work. I've lived in Missoula for 10 years now and I quite like it here. But I really like traveling. I went to Jamaica over summer and plan to go to Costa Rica in January. I want to go back to Europe to go backpack through as many countries as I can this next summer. But we'll see how good I can be about saving the cash. I enjoy a wide variety of music, but i'm pretty loyal to classic rock when it comes to making a playlist.